


Building Afresh

by ideserveyou



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: Angst, Bathing/Washing, Multi, Rain, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-02
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 11:51:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideserveyou/pseuds/ideserveyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benedicta has gone back to Rome; Arthur and Kai need to pick up the pieces. And have a bath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Another Hut

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to trepkos for insightful beta reading!

| ‘You never lost a leader.’ Arthur leans down to smile at Llud. ‘But you might still need to build another hut for yourself.’  
  
And with that he goes galloping out of the gate like the wind, towards the ridge where the old oak tree stands stark against the skyline.  
  
He will have to ride hard, to get there and back before nightfall; but the pain in his heart will not let him rest. Not until he finds what he is seeking…  
  
The tiny piece of fine handwoven cloth flutters and dances like a summer butterfly caught amid the black twigs of the oak. It feels soft and light in Arthur’s hand as he carefully frees the tangled threads holding it there. He resists a sudden impulse to press it to his face; instead he tucks it carefully into the breast of his tunic, beside the other blue scrap, the one he plucked from this same tree the day Benedicta left the village.  
  
The thought of what might have been – what so nearly was – is hard to bear. He swallows against the tightness in his throat; blinks back the prickle of tears. No time for weakness now. The leader of the Celts has a job to do.  
  
Arthur turns his horse, and rides at breakneck speed back down the hill.  
…  
  
‘Where’s Kai?’  
  
Llud looks up from his seat by the longhouse hearth.  
‘I’m not certain. He went out not long after you did. On foot, I think.’  
  
Ice grips Arthur’s heart. ‘Did he say where he was going?’  
  
‘Muttered something about the river.’ Llud’s face is sombre. ‘It’s time you had a talk with him. You’re not the only one who’s been out of sorts since your princess left us…’  
  
Arthur is already turning on his heel. ‘I’m going to look for him.’  
  
‘Good.’ Llud holds out his sound hand to the flames once more. ‘Perhaps he just needs his leader back too.’  
  
…  
  
It’s already getting dark under the alders along the riverbank. There is no sign of Kai, but something tells Arthur that he’ll have gone to the old lookout point, a favourite refuge of his since childhood. Arthur makes haste to follow.  
  
The wind is picking up, and ragged clouds are blowing in from the sea; there is a sudden spatter of chill rain.  
  
Foul British climate, Arthur thinks. Almost he can hear Benedicta’s cultured tones saying it. He wonders whether she is safely back in Rome by now, taking her ease in the sunshine, ordering her slaves around, entertaining her noble friends with tales of her exile in the land of savages…  
  
He sighs. She was very beautiful – the first woman he’d ever really desired. He’d loved her, or thought he did; but to her he was no more than a novelty to pass the time: a tame barbarian, to be altered and improved. Arthur in himself was not enough for her, and he had been too naïve and flattered to see it.  
  
It had hurt when she left. Hurt, at first, beyond bearing. Arthur had turned away from his family’s sympathy; from the knowing looks of his warriors. It took him some days to admit to himself that what he felt was mostly frustration and injured pride.  
  
With her voice still echoing in his head, he had begun to look at his village, his people, with new eyes. To a Roman, they might be no more than barbarians in huts, but to him they were everything.  
  
And with that understanding, he had begun to look at certain other things with new eyes too…  
  
Pulling his cloak more tightly around him, Arthur climbs the steep rocky path to the overlook, a ledge perched above the gorge where the river cuts through the end of the hill.  
  
His heart is pounding and his breath comes short. He forces himself to greater speed, fearing that he may already be too late, cursing himself for a short-sighted fool.  
  
He hauls himself up the last incline and onto the level at last, already looking round; he heaves a sigh of relief.  
  
Kai is there. But he is slumped in a heap on the sodden ground, his head buried in his folded arms, his body shaking with sobs.  
  
Arthur kneels beside him. ‘Kai?’  
  
His brother looks up with red-rimmed eyes, and struggles to speak.  
‘I heard you. Heard what you said to Llud… She’s promised to come back to you, and you believe her.’  
  
‘I do not believe that Benedicta will ever return,’ Arthur says.  
  
Kai shakes Arthur’s hand off as though the touch burns him. ‘But you will still marry. Rowena…’  
  
‘Rowena’s a fine woman and a good friend. But not for life – not for me. If I were ever to pledge myself, there is only one person in the world to whom I would make such a promise. If only I had known it sooner, before lust overtook me and I caused such hurt to so faithful a heart…’  
  
Arthur chokes back a sob, and scrambles to his feet.  
  
‘Yes, I went to fetch the cloth. But only so I could do this.’ He takes both pieces out; holds them over the cliff and lets them go. They flutter on the edge of sight for an instant before the darkness swallows them.  
  
He turns to Kai. ‘Now… tell me, should I throw myself over the edge too? Or can you find it in that loyal heart to forgive me, and let me start again?’  
  
Kai catches his breath. He sits up, staring.  
  
Arthur is looking at Kai’s face, at the dawning hope he sees there; as he takes his first step towards him, his ankle turns on a loose stone, sending a stab of pain up his right leg, and suddenly he’s falling, sliding over the edge into the chasm.  
  
 _Kai, my Kai…_  
  
Both of them cry out in terror, and Kai flings himself onto his stomach, reaching for Arthur’s outstretched arm.  
  
Kai’s fingers close round his wrist, just in time. But his hand is wet and slippery, and the rain is falling again, the wind whistling around the rocks and tugging at Arthur's flailing body.  
  
 _Not now… not now that we both know..._  
  
Arthur struggles desperately to find something, anything, to cling to. The river roars hungrily below.  
  
 _No. I will not let the darkness take me from him._  
  
Loose stones go clattering down as Arthur’s feet scrabble for purchase. His wrist and shoulder are in agony, every sinew stretched to breaking point.  
  
 _It cannot end like this, before we have even begun…_  
  
At last he wedges a toe into a tiny crack in the rock, enough to take some of his weight and let him reach up with his other hand. Kai hauls at him, sobbing with the effort, and somehow gets a grip on Arthur’s upper arm, and then his belt, and pulls him back onto the ledge.  
  
Dazed and aching, Arthur crawls back from the brink and lies panting for breath, the sharp rocks digging into his ribs. Kai sinks down next to him; wraps his arms around Arthur and clings to him as though he will never let him go.  
  
The rain is coming on harder, and there is an edge of sleet in it; the two of them are shivering, chilled to the bone.  
  
‘Kai.’ Arthur palms Kai’s wet cheek; raises his voice above the gathering wind. ‘Help me up. We need to find shelter. There’s a storm coming.’  
  
Kai shakes his head and mumbles something Arthur can’t hear.  
  
‘Come on!’ Arthur shakes Kai by the shoulder. ‘There’ll be time to weep later, and put things to rights. But now this minute, we have to move. And my leg won’t bear me.’  
  
Kai heaves a huge sigh, and gets unsteadily to his feet, pulling Arthur up beside him. They limp across the ledge to the lookout’s cave, no more than a shallow chamber in the rock, just out of the wind.  
  
Thanks to Arthur's ingenious warning systems, there hasn't been a sentry posted up here for a long time, and inside they find only a heap of mouldy hay, topped with a rancid deerhide. Little enough comfort, but so very welcome. They burrow into the dank pile and lie there, gasping for breath.  
  
‘Why…’ Kai’s voice is a rasping croak. ‘If you knew, why did you tell Llud he would need another hut?'  
  
‘Because so he will,’ Arthur says, very seriously. ‘He’s advancing in years, he won’t want young lovers keeping him awake all night.’  
  
Kai is laughing and weeping all at once as he pulls Arthur to him and holds him close. Arthur can feel the welcome, beloved warmth of Kai’s body through his wet clothes; the touch of Kai’s hand drowns out all pain and all cold, leaving only relief and joy.  
  
‘Why didn’t you tell me, Kai?’ Arthur presses his cheek into the hollow of Kai’s shoulder. ‘How could you watch me pursue another, and say nothing?’  
  
‘You were happy with her. I… persuaded myself that I was happy for you. If I could not be with you, then at least you would have someone to make you smile. Someone to share your life.’  
  
‘You said nothing when she left, either.’  
  
‘My heart broke for you. I saw your face, when she said that you would love Rome, and you knew at once that your dream was over. I did not know how to help you. And the comfort I would have offered – was a comfort I thought you would not want. I’m sorry, Arthur. I failed you.’  
  
‘I think it was I who failed you.’  
  
Kai shakes his head. ‘If you had gone over the edge, I would have sent myself after you.’  
  
‘Oh, but I have gone over the edge,’ Arthur tells him. ‘I have fallen. And this time I have fallen on my feet.’  
  
‘On your arse, more like,’ Kai murmurs.  
  
Then he reaches down, and adds: ‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that…’  
---


	2. Other Ways Than Words

| “More mead?” Arthur hefts the half-emptied pitcher.  
  
Kai pushes his beaker across the table. “Please.” He watches the honeyed liquid gurgle from the spout, glistening golden in the light of the fire. “And is there any more of that cheese?”  
  
“No more than would fill a mouse. But you’re welcome to it. I don’t think I could eat another thing.”  
  
“You Celtic lightweight.”  
  
“You greedy Saxon pig, you mean.” But Arthur is smiling, in a way that makes Kai’s heart sing.  
  
“Come on, I had a hard day yesterday.” Kai grins back at him. “Being miserable is hungry work.”  
  
“So it would seem.” Arthur shifts on the bench, and winces.  
  
“Does your ankle still hurt?”  
  
“Mmm. Walking home this morning was probably a mistake. I should have sent you to fetch a horse, only I didn’t think I’d be able to make you leave me there.”  
  
“You were right.”  
  
Kai picks up the last fragments of bread and cheese from his plate, and washes them down with a generous mouthful of mead. He goes to stand behind Arthur’s chair; puts his hands on Arthur’s shoulders and rests his cheek on Arthur’s hair. “I’m never leaving you again, not unless you order it. And possibly not even then.”  
  
“Never’s a long time.” Arthur lays his own hands over Kai’s, and turns his head so that their lips can meet.  
  
“Good,” Kai says, and leans into the kiss.  
  
It makes him a little dizzy. Or perhaps it’s the mead. He doesn’t care, either way.  
  
The kiss is followed by another, and another, and Kai’s head is spinning by the time Arthur pulls away to ask: “Is that cauldron hot yet?”  
  
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”  
  
“Never. But I would like to get rid of the smell of that deerhide. When we walked in here this morning and Llud embraced you, I swear I saw his eyes watering.”  
  
“I thought his greeting was a little… subdued.”  
  
Arthur screws up his face in a very fair imitation of their foster-father. “ ‘Welcome home, son. You need a bath.’ ”  
  
“Yes, and I’m not the only one.” Kai sniffs pointedly.  
  
Arthur flings back his head and laughs joyously, making Kai’s heart sing. It is so good to see Arthur happy, to have Arthur’s full attention, to be back to the friendly banter they used to enjoy, before…  
  
Kai crosses to the hearth and dips a finger cautiously into the steaming water.  
  
“Another ten minutes, I should say.”  
  
“Time enough to finish the mead. And then we can be clean again.”  
  
“And then – ”  
  
Kai pulls himself up short. Thanks to that Roman bitch, it has been many weeks since he and Arthur shared a bed, as they had been used to do from time to time, in mutual desire and friendship, if not as acknowledged lovers. It was never enough, for Kai; but he dared ask no more, for fear of losing all.  
  
It’s been a long time. And now everything must be started anew.  
  
Perhaps it’s too soon; perhaps, even after sleeping in his arms all last night, Arthur will shy away from further intimacy…  
  
But Arthur is still smiling as he gets up from his chair and comes over to join Kai by the fireside. He puts a hand on Kai’s shoulder.  
  
“My heart, after last night – Ask of me whatever you wish, I will not refuse you.”  
  
Kai looks round at that beloved face. “You know what I would ask of you. And you know what I would give you, in return.”  
  
“Ask, then.” Arthur’s blue eyes hold Kai’s gaze, challenging him.  
  
 _I didn’t know it was a contest…_  
  
“Arthur, will you – may I – let me…”  _Damn you. You win this skirmish_. “Gaaah. I cannot find the words.”  
  
“Then show me,” Arthur says. “There are other ways than words. Show me, Kai.”  
  
 _Always generous in victory. One of the many things I love about you._  
  
Kai takes courage, and begins to unfasten Arthur’s clothing, tentatively at first and then more eagerly as he hears Arthur’s breathing catch and quicken.  
  
 _Perhaps we have both won, after all._  
  
Arthur’s ringed jerkin is soon in a heap on the floor, and Kai takes hold of the hem of Arthur’s tunic, to draw it up and over his head.  
  
The smell of that rotting hide pervades everything, but still Kai is aware of Arthur’s own sharp-sweet scent beneath it, as the pale curve of his stomach is revealed, and the neat hollow of his navel, the central stripe of black hair…  
  
Kai feels himself hardening at the thought of where that particular trail leads. He looks upward instead, to Arthur’s well-muscled chest, his round rosy nipples, more of that tempting black fur…  
  
“Are you going to take that off, or just stand there staring all night?”  
  
“Sorry,” Kai mumbles, and peels the tunic hastily off.  
  
He’s still staring, unable to take his eyes from the pulse in Arthur’s throat, the gleam of the firelight on his bare skin.  
  
He knows Arthur is aware of it.  
  
“Kai, I – ” Arthur turns abruptly away. “I need to check that the door is barred.”  
  
“I already have.”  
  
“I need to see for myself.”  
  
“Do you not trust me?”  
  
Arthur is at the door with his back turned. Kai sees Arthur’s whole body tense, and braces himself for some blistering reply.  
  
Then Arthur lets out a harsh sigh, and says quietly, “It isn’t that.”  
  
He lingers by the door, as though unwilling to return to the fray.  
  
Unwilling – or maybe just a little afraid …  
  
 _I will not make you say it. I too can be generous. And I know how you feel._  
  
Kai goes to him; lays a hand on his shoulder. “Arthur, would you – help me off with my gear, too?”  
  
Arthur turns to face Kai; kisses him, open-mouthed, running his hands over Kai’s jawline and neck and then reaching around to unfasten the lacings at the back of Kai’s studded war-tunic and pull it off him.  
  
It clatters to the floor somewhere beside them, and then Arthur’s hands are under Kai’s shirt, sliding up his ribs to flick and tease at his nipples until they are standing proud.  
  
Kai lets out a groan, and Arthur steps back; lifts the garment slowly and carefully over Kai’s head.  
  
“Thank you,” Kai says.  
  
 _Nothing to be afraid of here, brother._  
  
Arthur smiles. “That water must surely be hot enough by now.”  
  
Together they pull the wash-tub as close to the hearth as they can; lift the heavy cauldron off its tripod, and tip the steaming water into the bath.  
  
“Race you. Before the water goes cold.”  
  
 _Another challenge._  
  
“Very well.” Kai nods. “Whoever wins, gets first turn. Agreed?”  
  
“On the count of three, then.”  
  
Kai’s hands are already poised at his belt.  
  
“One… Two… Three!”  
  
Arthur has seated himself on the bench and started with his boots; Kai whips off his belt, and slides his breeches down, all embarrassment for the moment forgotten in the simple desire to be the first to sink into that blessedly warm and clean water.  
  
He is still half-hard after that kiss. No doubt Arthur is too. Kai can’t resist a quick glance, but Arthur is still struggling with the second boot.  
  
Kai staggers to the bench, breeches round his knees, and rips off leggings and boots together.  
  
“Ha!” He leaps to his feet, triumphant.  
  
And stark naked.  
  
Arthur stops tugging at his boot, and simply looks, and looks, and looks some more.  
  
Kai feels himself flushing; he has gone from half-hard to fully erect, and there is nowhere to hide from that direct dark gaze…  
  
“Well?” Arthur gestures to the steaming tub. “Aren’t you going to claim your prize?”  
  
 _And when will you claim yours? As you can see, we have both won._  
  
Kai lowers himself into the hot water with a grunt of satisfaction. “That feels so good.”  
  
“It’s not seemly for the victor to gloat,” Arthur says with mock-sternness.  
  
“Just giving you a taste of what’s to come.”  
  
“Don’t be filthy. Or I’ll have to wash your mouth out.”  
  
“Is that a threat, or a promise?”  
  
Arthur kneels beside the tub. He looks into Kai’s eyes, and Kai sees he’s still apprehensive, despite the joking. “Kai…”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
No answer.  
  
Kai puts a hand on Arthur’s arm. “It’s been a long time, that’s all. Nothing has changed.”  
  
“I have changed.” Arthur bites his lip. “I took something of great worth, and flung it aside, and now –”  
  
“And now it is restored to you. A little battered, maybe, but still sound. Still yours, if you want it.”  
  
 _My heart._  
  
“My heart…” There are tears in the blue eyes. Or perhaps it’s just the steam.  
  
“Were you afraid I wouldn’t want you, after… her?”  
  
“Do not speak of it.”  
  
“Very well. As you said, there are other ways than words.”  
  
“What can I do, Kai?”  
  
Kai has never seen him like this: open, and vulnerable, and utterly at the mercy of another.  
  
“Well… You can help me get the straw out of my hair, for a start.”  
  
The tension melts from Arthur’s shoulders. It’s always been a good way to distract him, giving him a practical task.  
  
His hands are gentle on Kai’s scalp, and when he’s satisfied that Kai’s hair is clean, he carries on washing him, all over, touching every part of Kai’s body as though to reclaim it for himself.  
  
Kai sits quietly, eyes closed, and never wants Arthur to stop.  
  
Then he feels a touch of Arthur’s lips on his, and pulls him close, kissing him open-mouthed, until both are breathing heavily and Kai is so hard it’s almost painful.  
  
Arthur breaks away and kisses Kai gently on the brow.  
  
Kai opens his eyes, and looks deep into Arthur’s, seeing his leader’s certainty restored.  
  
“Your turn now.” Kai scrambles out of the tub, shivering a little, although he is well accustomed to the longhouse draughts. He pulls a coarse blanket around himself, and reaches out a steadying arm to Arthur, who is a little unsteady on his weak ankle.  
  
“Thank you.” Arthur seats himself, and leans back luxuriously.  
  
“Now, what can I do?” Kai kneels beside Arthur, keeping close to the heat of the fire.  
  
Arthur smiles. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”  
  
“I’m thinking of many things. I’m just not sure which of them to do first.”  
  
Kai speaks lightly, but his heart is thudding so loudly, Arthur must surely be able to hear it.  
  
“Start at the top, and work down, then.”  
  
 _Methodical as always…_  
  
“Actually I thought I might start at your feet, and work up.”  
  
“That would be just as good.” Arthur’s eyes are twinkling. “Just mind that ankle… and make sure you don’t miss anything on the way.”  
  
“I’ll make sure of it.” Kai picks up the washcloth and begins with Arthur’s injured foot, cleaning it tenderly and thoroughly before moving on to the sound one.  
  
He’s never even really looked at Arthur’s feet before, but now… He runs the cloth carefully between Arthur’s toes, caresses the ball and the graceful arch of his foot, and when Arthur wriggles and makes a small, ridiculous sound, Kai continues with his lips and tongue, stroking and tickling.  
  
The swell of Arthur’s calf, and the soft hollow behind each knee, are equally thoroughly cleansed and appreciated, and then there is the pale, wet sweep of skin on each thigh, and then…  
  
Kai leans over the tub, and Arthur arches his back and lifts his hips, and Kai washes Arthur’s prick with love and reverence before flinging the cloth aside and taking Arthur into his mouth.  
  
He tastes of salt, and clean skin, and the rainwater they’ve used to fill the tub. The taste of home, of the place Kai belongs, beyond any other: here, with Arthur’s hands tangling in his hair.  
  
“Kai,” Arthur breathes, “my Kai. That’s so good.”  
  
He thrusts upwards, and the bathwater licks at Kai’s face as he draws Arthur’s cock further into his mouth, until the head of it is brushing at the back of his throat and he has to pull away a little.  
  
He runs his tongue around the shaft, enjoying the strength and warmth and smoothness of it, licking at the veins that pulse beneath the soft skin.  
  
Then he lifts his head, keeping his lips tight around Arthur, and caresses the tip with his tongue; pushes the wrinkled foreskin back to expose the tiny, sensitive slit, already leaking musky fluid.  
  
Arthur’s grip tightens, the pull on Kai’s hair half-painful, half-arousing. “Please…”  
  
Kai gives him what he needs, taking him deeper, licking around the head of his prick, tightening his lips, reaching awkwardly into the tub with one hand to stroke the ridge behind Arthur’s balls, then slide a finger into his cleft.  
  
“Yes. Oh, my Kai.  _My heart_ …”  
  
And Arthur is coming, filling Kai’s mouth with wave after wave, and it seems as though it will never stop, and Kai never wants it to, despite the crick in his neck and the cold draught blowing on his wet hair.  
  
When it’s over, and Kai has licked Arthur clean of every last drop, Arthur sags back against the edge of the tub, limp and spent.  
  
“Well?” Kai leans over and kisses him. “Have I missed anything so far?”  
  
Arthur can only shake his head, but his smile speaks volumes.  
  
Kai picks up the cloth as though nothing had happened, and continues his methodical washing; and if he lingers a little longer over Arthur’s nipples than is strictly necessary to get them clean, well, nobody is complaining.  
  
And he has to wash Arthur’s hair twice, and be very thorough about running his hands through it and his lips over it, just to make sure every scrap of straw and every trace of that deerhide have been completely eliminated.  
  
“I must surely be clean by now,” Arthur complains. “Enough, Kai. I’m wrinkling up like a shrivelled apple at the back of the store hut.”  
  
“Better get out, then, before you shrivel away to nothing.” Kai glances pointedly at Arthur’s limp cock. “We can’t let that happen.”  
  
“I’m relying on you to make sure of it.” Arthur catches Kai’s eye, and suddenly they are both laughing again, as though they were two naughty boys sharing a joke on the riverbank, all cares forgotten in the joy of the moment.  
  
Arthur stumbles as he steps out of the bath, but Kai will not let him fall. He wraps a blanket around him and helps him to the bench by the hearth; fetches more wood, and builds up the fire to a hearty blaze.  
  
“That’s plenty.” Arthur holds out his hands to the flames; the blanket falls from his shoulders. “Come and sit here, with me.”  
  
Kai settles down contentedly, shoulder to shoulder with Arthur, letting the warmth soak through him.  
  
After a little while, Arthur reaches up and tugs Kai’s blanket off him. “You’ll dry quicker without it,” he murmurs, sliding one arm around Kai’s back.  
  
“And it improves the view,” he adds, moving the arm lower, and glancing sidelong at Kai under his thick, dark lashes.  
  
That is all that is needed to bring Kai back to full, eager hardness; but Arthur seems in no hurry.  
  
His fingers trace lazy spirals across the base of Kai’s spine and then press in between Kai’s buttocks, rubbing in and out of his damp cleft with delicious slowness.  
  
Kai can’t suppress a whimper – a ridiculous little sound that makes them both smile.  
  
Without taking his hand away, Arthur wriggles round and kneels on the floor in front of him, the flickering glow of the fire playing across his naked back.  
  
Arthur teases with his fingers, in and out; Kai’s cock twitches, a bead of moisture gathering at its tip.  
  
“Will it taste as good as it looks?” Arthur licks his lips, gazing hungrily at Kai’s erection.  
  
Kai clears his throat. “Why don’t you find out?” Then he grins. “Yours did.”  
  
Arthur takes Kai in with maddening patience, bit by bit, stroking his balls and the root of his prick with his free hand, until Kai is panting and clenching his fists, all Arthur’s restrained, careful touches driving him ever closer to the edge.  
  
A whine is dragged from Kai’s throat as Arthur’s tongue finds a particularly sensitive point; Arthur looks up, as though surprised at the intensity of Kai’s response.  
  
 _But I always felt it like this. Only now, I can let you see it…_  
  
Kai grips Arthur’s shoulder. “Arthur – please…”  
  
A slight nod of the head, and then Arthur quickens his pace, tightening his grip on Kai’s swollen shaft.  
  
“Yes. Oh, yes.  _Yes_!”  
  
Kai’s hips jerk forwards, thrusting his cock deep into Arthur’s throat. Arthur reaches between Kai’s cheeks, stroking over his entrance; then a wet fingertip slips within Kai’s opening, and he is undone.  
  
A harsh cry escapes him. His seed floods out into Arthur’s mouth, all the pent-up rage and fear and hurt of the past days and weeks washing away along with it, leaving him empty, but renewed: a slate wiped clean, ready to begin a new tale.  
  
Arthur releases Kai, and swallows hard. Kai takes his arm and pulls him back up onto the bench for a kiss. There are tears on both their cheeks, but whether their own or each other’s, Kai cannot tell.  
  
 _Nobody is keeping score any more…_  
  
Afterwards, Kai leans against Arthur’s shoulder as they sit before the hearth unspeaking, utterly at peace with each other, and with the world.  
  
The sounds of the village outside come faintly through the wattle, as though from far away.  
  
A charred log settles in the fire; its remaining bark flares and catches with a splutter of yellow flame. Kai watches idly.  
  
A shiny beetle emerges from a crack in the wood and runs frantically over the still un-burned part, seeking escape from the heat, but the flames hem it in on every side.  
  
Kai leans forward and picks up a twig from the edge of the hearth; holds it out with the end in the beetle’s path.  
  
The insect flinches back from this unfamiliar intrusion; but Kai holds the twig in place, and as the flames close in, the beetle finally decides that it has no other choice, and starts to climb.  
  
Kai lifts the twig clear of the flames and sets it down; the beetle scuttles away across the earthen floor and disappears among the rushes.  
  
“Why did you do that?”  
  
“Mmm?” Kai looks up and meets Arthur’s amused gaze. “Oh, I don’t know… I just thought… It didn’t seem right to sit there and watch it die.”  
  
Arthur laughs aloud. “And you’re the man the Saxons call ‘The Butcher’! If they only knew you had such a soft heart…”  
  
He sobers abruptly. “As I should have known. Before I trampled it into the dirt.”  
  
Kai sits up, and puts his arms round Arthur. “My love, you can stop punishing yourself for that now. Look forward, and not back.”  
  
“Very well. Let us begin anew, from this moment. I pledge myself to you, and you alone.” Arthur clings to Kai as though he will never let him go. “I am yours, and you are mine, and all is as it should be.”  
  
Kai has no words to make a fitting reply. But he lifts Arthur’s chin, and kisses him, deep and long, looking into those beloved blue eyes that hold Kai’s past, present and future. A future that he fervently hopes will hold many more such silent moments of perfect understanding.  
  
There are other ways than words.  
---


End file.
